“Auf widersehen….”

“Auf wiedersehen…..”

We parted thus, like two shadows, overlapping each other in the dim light of a petromax lamp…

I felt a sudden urge to walk back once again in to the ashram, and speak with lama, but I couldn’t… I was sort of benumbed….

“Sire, there so many places see in neypal… and go to gadmandoo…. You gan see lods of demples…and the govirment is doying very good ere… oh are yaw jurnolist? Then there are so many blaces do see”

The voice of an obscure guide had woken me up from daydreams….

Kathmandu…

The dreamland… The town where the monotony of life and the silence of eternity commingles….where the night becomes a blanket of unwritten melancholic poems and the day becomes its pen….i felt a sudden wish to see here more…

Oh..Juliana…

The dreamer among thousands…

The conjurer, the gypsy…..

From today onwards I have to start alone…

On this tiresome road..The same….same…road….

The snows of Nepal, carrying an immense aura of loneliness,or atleast to me,the solemn journalist, the pathetic survivor, and the ‘impertinent Indiano’- that’s what Andy called me, the blue eyed Boer trekking guide from Transvaal, whenever he saw me, reckoned me in to her… Oh Juliana how much I wanted… how much I lost…. Like your home you told somehwhere in Manchester,  like you’r e having such a nice aunt and a precocious brother who speaks in length about Falun dafa and UFO Religions, I also have a home, no a thousand homes, sometimes in the middle of the night I would throw myself in to  a hut in an obscure village of North East India, just to meet my mama and would say here- ‘Thiah sulk (Good night)…. Sometime I would be with a cynical ferryman traversing through the petrified time, the broken and shattered time, through the volent waters of Brahmaputra, chanting a Rabindro song…yes I have a thousand forms.. I am in me..iam in you..and iam everywhere…

That’s why they calls me The impenetrable Gouthama…the inscrutable one…

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So who are you?
Just a human being… with all those painstaking innocence’s and foolishness.. with full flesh and blood…
Why are you, why the hell are you on this earth?
I don’t know…please understand my innocence…..i’am just a worm..a withered flower… an ugly wind…a rumpled wave…a shattered dream….
So….
What do you think?
The clouds are getting bigger and bigger..does it mean the rain will start its sojourn?
The worm starts its pathetic journey…you can see its not at all oblivious to all carnal pleasures…..it is a fool..it is, at times a tyrant… a melancholic…a psychopath…and in the end just a worm..just a worm….